Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
