i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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