so let's talk penis.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
