I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
