You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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