is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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