I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
