Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
