38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
