The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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