I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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