if i can run in heels then i can drive
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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