i don't like sucking hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
