David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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