So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
