it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
