they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
