But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
