Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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