I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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