i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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