weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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