I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
