why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
