Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
