He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have aggressive nipples.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
