Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
