He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
