i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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