Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
