I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it glows. i had to have it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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