did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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