that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
