So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
