Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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