Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
