dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
