My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
