Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
