I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
