idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
