make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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