new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
