Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
