Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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