Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
