We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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