just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
