You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
