please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
