i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
