dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
