By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
