drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
