Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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